The
alarm goes. It's 6am. I'm so tempted to hit the snooze button but
instead I find myself rolling out of bed and sliding myself into my
clothes, made slightly easier by the fact it's already light outside.
Before I can even begin to think I grab my bags, kiss my boyfriend
goodbye and leave the house, all before half 6? Seems slightly
surreal. Then, the anxiety starts. Will people be looking at me? What
if I do something wrong? What if I look like a complete idiot? Should
I just turn around? I can't remember how I felt on my first day of
school but I imagine this to be pretty similar. I arrive. I'm so
relieved to see the friendly face of my MD, we walk in
together making idle chit chat and then it hits me. I'm at the gym
for the very first time. A place that I've been paying a membership
fee for the last 8 months but never actually managed to make it to.
Until today.
I'm
making my way towards what I can only imagine to be a room full of
pain, worrying that people are going to stare at me as I walk through
the door. I'm so tempted to just turn around. I find myself walking
into an empty room full of gym equipment. What a relief, I can
finally breathe. I'm the first one there!!
I
begin my workout that I meticulously planned the night before so it
at least looks like I know what I'm doing. My headphones are in, my
music is on and I'm thinking about what the day ahead may bring.
After my warm up on the rowing machine I get up and realise that the
room has suddenly become packed and anxiety is setting in again! Were
they watching me? Was I doing it right? What do they think of me?
What do I look like?
I
manage to shove the evil thoughts to the back of my mind and make my
way over to the bike. I manage to cycle 5k in 10 minutes which I'm
impressed with because Jesus those seats hurt your ass!! After my 5k
I pluck up the courage to do some light weight training. It's so
quiet in this part of the gym that I don't feel intimidated to lift
more than I can manage!
Whilst
I'm training out of the corner of my eye I clock an older gentleman
who's significantly overweight and is training with a personal
trainer. I have so much respect for this guy. He's a lot bigger than
I am and I'm sure that he must have had the same reservations as I do
about joining a gym but if he's here working out it's sure as hell I
am going to be here 4/5 times a week too!
Before
I know it 45 minutes have passed and I'm making my way back to the
changing rooms. I still have an hour or so before I have to be in
work(I literally work a 30 second walk away) so I decide to reward
myself with 15 minutes in the Jacuzzi. Funny really, I have no
reservations about getting into a swimsuit and walking into the pool
area but I've been panicking my whole life about walking into a gym
fully clothed?
After
my cool down time I make my way back into the changing rooms feeling
chilled and ready to tackle the day ahead. I'm greeted by a couple of
my colleagues and a lovely lady who is walking around the changing
rooms fully naked. I mean I'm not too sure if this is the norm in
these places but I for one will definitely not be partaking. Hats off
to the girl though she looked fantastic and obviously works hard for
what she has got.
I've
showered, dressed and I'm was making my way over to work. I've
completed my first day at the gym and it really wasn't as scary as I
had anticipated.
I've
been back 3 times since and slowly my reservations are fading. The
truth is everyone goes the gym for the same reason, to better
themselves/become a healthier person. It doesn't matter how big,
small or muscular you are, nobody cares. Everyone is too focused on
their own workouts and goals to worry about yours. I worried for so
long about the unnecessary things and looking back I now wish that I
could have pushed my fears aside a long time ago. For me going to the
gym in the morning gives me the boost I need for the day ahead and
it's going to help me in my journey to lose the weight I need to. I
never thought I would say this but I'm actually enjoying it and the
6am starts aren't too hard once you get used to them!
What
about you? How did you feel on your first time at the gym? Or is this
just me?
Lots
of Love
Chubby
Princess
xxx
